Internet Dating Sites, it has struck me, are a microcosm of what is going on between men and women in life. You can browse through the profiles of these lonely people and watch them making the same mistakes on their profiles that everyone makes in the real world that led them to look online in the first place. Below are just a few observations and classes of people to be found there.
Now before we start you have to realize there are a couple of classes of daters. They are, in no particular order.
Hipster – Just a normal person who is tech savvy and uses it to connect to others and find a date.
Swingers – Speaks for itself
Horndogs – People looking for quick hook ups and casual sex. This includes almost all men
Creepers – People so screwed up they cant even connect anonymously or even if they do they will quickly withdraw when it comes to meeting for real.
Most sites have a spot to place a headline or welcome message to your profile visitor. It usually also shows in the search results above your photo to grab a potential visitors attention and lure them into your profile where you can close the deal. Given that kind of importance it seems people would spend a little more time on it and realize how bad they are at it.
One common thread you will see in single profiles is honesty. Everyone says they aren’t looking to play games, keep it real etc. This is absolutely NOT the way to go. When people say they want honesty they lie! People want others to tell them what they want to hear. In fact humans spend a large part of their lives spinning elaborate webs of lies about the reality round them so that they can accept it. That having been said the main problem with the Headlines are that they ARE honest. Here are some typical female headlines.
Looking for my soul mate
Can you be the one?
Are you Mr Right?
Looking for a true gentleman
You get the idea. Now these are completely honest, and also absolutely crazy! Would you walk up to a total stranger and say I’m looking to get married wanna date? There could not be a worse way to try to lure a guy in. Even if a guy is looking to settle down he doesn’t want to admit it. A guy wants to have fun with a woman he finds sexy and have her think he is great. Male egos are fragile despite the bravado.
Absolutely nothing about these headlines speaks to that. Being Mr Right or the One is not sexy. they all speak of responsibility and doing the right thing. We all do those daily we certainly don’t find it sexy. To attract a man the headline should be light and fun. DO NOT use it to warn certain types not to apply. Even if a guy isn’t that type he will immediately think you’re a bitch!
The simple truth is 99% of guys do NOT want the things above until they actually fall in love. Its not a goal for them the way it is for a woman. So they are going to lie to you and say they do because you have set that up as a condition to talk to you and guys must talk to pretty girls. We need to and we need to have sex with you too. Don’t blame us blame evolution.
Guys yours is easy. Don’t reference sex or any body part in your headline. Yes guys want sex but nobody wants a picture of your member unsolicited or to hear about it in a public profile. If that’s what your after then use discreet adult language to let others know and then discuss the details in private. A search shouldn’t turn up a result like. “7.5 uncut sausage for sucking”. I mean grow up.
Over the coming days I am going to break down other pieces of the sites and the way people use them as well as a critique of the industry as a whole. Up next profile pictures…