Killer Is Me

Idiots, seems they are everywhere, but there are many different kinds so this will help you to know what type of moron you are dealing with.

The delusionist – this person rejects any and all evidence that doesn’t line up with their opinion and world view. They are never wrong and even if painted into the corner they will need to check our facts and get back to you.

The Victor -This person is immediately identified by their habit of proclaiming either their argument infallible or their outright victory in the argument. Anyone who does this obviously isn’t smart enough to either be right or win any argument.

The Expert -This person always is ready with expert advice on any subject. They always know exactly what you should do or how any and everything operates. Oddly enough their live is usually a shambles and they work at Walmart instead of the Thoracic Surgery position you would imagine from such an expert.

The Rebel – This personal quote. Don’t is stupid and eh know it. Not only do they know they revel in it. They wallow I stupidity like its a warm blanket or an American flag. They can be recognized through statements like

love it or leave it

Or

god, guns, and country

You will likely find them driving a truck with a lot of decals on the back that say clever things like Nobama or southern by the grace of god. Stid is a badge of honor that isn’t shared by Ivy League type liberals whom they hate.

Should you encounter any of these people don’t attempt to reason with them, just go the other way.

So I was doing my daily run and I saw this fat guy in maybe his late twenties. He was running from one tree to another, around it and back to the first. The whole thing was maybe twenty yards at the most. He was running like a cheetah was after him. Lol

Now before you think I’m being too harsh here’s the rest.

He had a stopwatch and was obviously timing his progress. Why a stopwatch I don’t know he could have used a clock or maybe even a calendar. But at the end of each run he would look at the watch and either pump his fist in celebration or shake his head in disgust.

Free humor compliments of another strange mammal.
I wish him the best in the upcoming NFL combine.

I have client that has decided they will jack me around on money owed for a website done for them. I plan for this with every site I build. Built in is the cheap code which activates images that tell their clients that they don’t pay. Also I have the doomsday code which will drop all the database tables making their site disappear.

Why do some people insist on being so stupid?

Some distinct insight can be garnered a people persons profile picture on any site but especially on dating sites where the rules are much more lax when it comes to nudity. Here again we see that people make huge mistakes that almost assure that the dating experience doesn’t get results. How you say?

Women – DO NOT put a picture of your child up or a picture of you with your child. Men want to get the impression not necessarily that you ARE a whore but that you are capable of being HIS whore at some point. Nothing kills that like seeing the results of you banging another guy right there in front of him.

Men – DO NOT post the obligatory penis picture. Women do not respond to this, or at least 99% don’t. Its not that they never want to see it but girls just aren’t into being shown your cock while trying to decide if they are even interested in you. You are not selling breeding bulls.

The typical profile pictures tells us exactly what the sexes want and find attractive in each other but usually fails on their part. For instance the typical male picture is shirtless, looking tough. Women? Typically a face shot where she is smiling looking at the camera. The exception to this is the standard one arm camera phone shot with the duck lips that everyone does.  Men want to see women with their shirts off. Women are more interested in who you are as a person and want to  bond on a personal level. Guys would do much better to do face pics and smile more. Women are never gonna pose topless so just forget it guys

Internet Dating Sites, it has struck me, are a microcosm of what is going on between men and women in life. You can browse through the profiles of these lonely people and watch them making the same mistakes on their profiles that everyone makes in the real world that led them to look online in the first place. Below are just a few observations and classes of people to be found there.

Now before we start you have to realize there are a couple of classes of daters. They are, in no particular order.

Hipster – Just a normal person who is tech savvy and uses it to connect to others and find a date.

Swingers – Speaks for itself

Horndogs – People looking for quick hook ups and casual sex. This includes almost all men

Creepers – People so screwed up they cant even connect anonymously or even if they do they will quickly withdraw when it comes to meeting for real.

The Headline

Most sites have a spot to place a headline or welcome message to your profile visitor. It usually also shows in the search results above your photo to grab a potential visitors attention and lure them into your profile where you can close the deal. Given that kind of importance it seems people would spend a little more time on it and realize how bad they are at it.

One common thread you will see in single profiles is honesty. Everyone says they aren’t looking to play games, keep it real etc. This is absolutely NOT the way to go. When people say they want honesty they lie! People want others to tell them what they want to hear. In fact humans spend a large part of their lives spinning elaborate webs of lies about the reality round them so that they can accept it. That having been said the main problem with the Headlines are that they ARE honest. Here are some typical female headlines.

Looking for my soul mate
Can you be the one?
Are you Mr Right?
Looking for a true gentleman

You get the idea. Now these are completely honest, and also absolutely crazy! Would you walk up to a total stranger and say I’m looking to get married wanna date? There could not be a worse way to try to lure a guy in. Even if a guy is looking to settle down he doesn’t want to admit it. A guy wants to have fun with a woman he finds sexy and have her think he is great. Male egos are fragile despite the bravado.

Absolutely nothing about these headlines speaks to that. Being Mr Right or the One is not sexy. they all speak of responsibility and doing the right thing. We all do those daily we certainly don’t find it sexy. To attract a man the headline should be light and fun. DO NOT use it to warn certain types not to apply. Even if a guy isn’t that type he will immediately think you’re a bitch!

The simple truth is 99% of guys do NOT want the things above until they actually fall in love. Its not a goal for them the way it is for a woman. So they are going to lie to you and say they do because you have set that up as a condition to talk to you and guys must talk to pretty girls. We need to and we need to have sex with you too. Don’t blame us blame evolution.

Guys yours is easy. Don’t reference sex or any body part in your headline. Yes guys want sex but nobody wants a picture of your member unsolicited or to hear about it in a public profile. If that’s what your after then use discreet adult language to let others know and then discuss the details in private. A search shouldn’t turn up a result like. “7.5 uncut sausage for sucking”. I mean grow up.

Over the coming days I am going to break down other pieces of the sites and the way people use them as well as a critique of the industry as a whole. Up next profile pictures…